Guest Feature: Em Holl's Awkward Life

Em Holl is wonderful and is today's awkward blogger. She and I lived on the same floor 2.5 years ago and in the same building last year. Many times, she'd get herself into awkward situations that she would ask me to help her out in and she'd return the favor. (OOH- I totally just thought of a great new story I have from that). Anyhoo- Em is all grown up now and creating/receiving awkwardness from not Newark. :) Here are two of her stories.

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Story #1
A few months ago I was salsa dancing with a few of my girlfriends.  For the longest time, the only men who would ask me to dance were as tall as my shoulder and much older than I was.  

Finally, a guy my age sks me to dance.  And yes, he's completely dreamy looking.  He dances phenomenally.  It was one of the best dances I have had to this point in my life.  As he looked at me and smiled, he started a conversation.

He says, "I don't speak English.  Hable espanol?"  

Why, no, I don't.  Hmmm.  "Non.  Hable anglais?  Parlez francais?"

"No.  Are... You... Married?"

Thus ended my night.


Story #2
I currently live with my parents.  However, the downturn in the real estate market has created quite an opportunity for me, so last weekend my father and I started house hunting. I have never done this before, so I wanted his help.

The realtor met us outside the house, and we introduced ourselves.  Upon entering the house, the owner showed us around.  It was a nice house, and we all wandered into the yard to see the fences, shed, etc. When the realtor went to get her business card, the owner looked at myself and my father and asked him who he was.

"He's my father," I cut in.

At this point, she has an expression of acute embarrassment on her face, and she replies, "I thought he was your... errrr... umm... I didn't want to make any assumptions."

Well, obviously at this point, since she is stumbling over her word choice, she did make a few assumptions.  Namely despite the family resemblance, she thought he was my sugar daddy and boyfriend.  Wrong on every level.  And this is not the first time this has happened.  Next time we are taking my mother, too.