Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Becoming a Boring Single Lady

I am so sorry, everyone, that there hasn't been any interesting stories lately. I'd like to say that my interactions have been less awkward or that I've stopped attracting really strange people. However, if I say that, I'm pretty sure that's a lie. The reason that my life has been so silent lately has been, well, because I've been boring lately.

Since moving to a new place alone, I haven't given much effort for awkward, or any, opportunities to arise. I've mainly been working, going home to see family or laying low. I think I'm still in this state of transition where I'm trying to figure out how to have a life outside of school and what to do. [Also, I'm now a single girl living on her own with no guy friends close by to hide behind- I'm trying so hard not to attract any creepers here.]

Ever since graduating, there has been growing pressure from friends, family and society for me to stop being single. It appears to be that if you are not taking classes anymore, then you shouldn't be single. Or at least if you are single, you should be seeing many guys in hopes of a relationship. Or you should be partying every night. If you aren't doing those things, apparently you are becoming boring and getting closer to being a crazy cat-harboring old maid and people start rudely asking you about it.

I'm not the only one feeling these pressures. I have many friends feeling the pressure of balancing work with family and friends and relationships. Because of this, we are now sharing with each other the ridiculous things that make us feel so awkward or embarrassed. It's hard being single, young and working. To demonstrate, I am now going to list a few of the conversations, phrases, or things we say or that happen to us in this new life  just to give you a snapshot. Clearly, many of these have intricate stories behind them.  But I can't tell you all of these stories so I'll leave you to use your imagination to fill in the blanks.

(Note: Anything that isn't from me or about me, I'm keeping anonymous so my friends won't hurt me.)
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"I went to Happy Hour that evening so does it erase the fact that I went to bed at 8:30 on Friday night?"

"Why are you calling me "miss"? I'm probably only like 4 years older than you. I'm not old yet. Call me by just my name with no "miss" in front of it." (To the cashier at Best Buy. He called me Miss Cara 3 times during check out.)

"Found your car!"

My grandmother: "Well, have you gotten any rings yet from any gentlemen for Christmas? It doesn't matter who, I wouldn't have met him so I wouldn't care who."

My cousin shouted across 20 of our relatives at the dinner table to ask about my 'boyfriend' because he thinks it's funny that I still don't have one. His question literally silenced the entire table while they waited for my response.

After asking a cashier if he took Visa he replied, "I'll take cash, credit or your firstborn child, honey."

"Of course I never like the nice guy. He told me he's never laughed so hard in his life as on our date. But it was so boring and I don't remember laughing!"

"He made me a birthday cake for my party. Even though I didn't invite him."

"I just ate 3 meals. In one sitting." (coping mechanism) "You are a champ."

"The guy who sold me my car called me about something and my pocket answered him and he heard me singing at the top of my lungs to Jet's "Cold Hard Bitch" awkwarddddd" "You were listening to 104.5, weren't you?" "YES! Thank youuuu!"

"I'm too old for mosh pits"

"I volunteered to switch out the bug traps in 185 rooms to avoid 2 boys. That's how bad it is."

"You know it's bad when 'dressing to go out' means you are going to the grocery store."

"For the first time ever, I just chopped off my hair in response to work and not a boy. Work is now becoming my boyfriend. Help."

This reminds me that I need to talk about my Shirtless Neighbor at some point with ya'll.