Fact: Being a benevolent granddaughter has its drawbacks. But I should have realized that before I started driving her around town on Wednesday.
My grandmother needed a ride to the doctor on Wednesday morning and, since it got my out of the house when Annie and Ali were visiting with "long-lost relatives," I agreed to drive to the doctor's office.
We went to the doctor's and got there half an hour early. So we waited. And waited. They called back my grandmother. So then I waited. And waited. This old man and this old lady sat down near me and started telling me how I should sell my stuff and just spend time with my family because when I die, no one wants my stuff. Apparently, the wife of this old man died from choking on peanut butter and then he had 50 bags of good clothes of hers that he had to get rid of. (I'm traumatized now.)
After my grandmother got out of the doctor's office, she had 2 prescriptions to fill. So after I brought lunch to her and my grandfather at home (Note: KFC chicken pot pies are loves by them), I took her to Rite Aid to get her medicines.
There was going to be an hour long wait to fill them but we had stuff she needed to get done in the store so we puttered about for a while. We got back into the pharmacy line to pick them up when this lady and her son (who was probably still in high school or just graduated from it) started staring at me. They made no attempts to discretely stare either. Just flat out stared.
The mom leaned over to her son and said, "Doesn't she look like Jess?" to which the son confirmed. By that time, they realized that they were staring and that I was staring back at them so then the lady started talking to me.
"I'm sorry," she said. "You just look like someone we knew."
"Oh really?"
"Yea. You look just like my older son's ex girlfriend. It's uncanny. I think it's the smile. Can I take a picture and send it to my sister and my son? They won't believe this!"
And then she snapped a picture on her iPhone and showed me and sent it off into cyberspace. "Actually, you look like her in all features but maybe the nose."
Yay. Once again, my nose is the thing that differentiates me from my doppelganger. Because that doesn't make me self-conscious about it at all. I asked her what the girl's name was to see if maybe she was a cousin of mine or not and she said, "You're not. Her name was Jess but she passed away. She was an only child and didn't have much family outside of her parents."
I felt bad and gave my apologies. The lady responded, "Oh it's okay. She was murdered like a year ago. You could say that her ex-boyfriend was crazy and couldn't bear to see her dating my son so he killed her. You look so much like her though. Are you single? I sorta want to get my son to talk to you."
OH.MY.GOODNESS. Did she just tell me that this girl was murdered and then try to get me to hook up with her son? WHAT?! How is that not creepy at all? Because I'd want to date another person who looked just like my ex that had a creepy and mean ex? AHHHH!
In my stunned and embarrassed Cara-manner, of course my response was, 'uhh........ maybe?' By this time my grandmother was listening in and said, "She's single." Grrrrr Ma Ma. Not cool at all. Worst wingman ever.
The lady then said, "eh. You probably aren't old enough for him or live close. He's 29. How old are you? Do you live nearby?'
"I'm only 21 and I live in Delaware. Except for 2 weeks when I'm here driving my grandmother around."
"Did you hear that? She's sweet too!! She drives her grandmother around" the crazy lady said to her poor son. "I'm sad. Delaware is too far away for us." Sighhhhh.
Hallelujah! I'm saved! Thank you Delaware and all of your wonderfulness! You deserve a cookie. The entire land of Delaware needs to be fed a cookie. All those who live in that glorious state, please, for my sake feed it a cookie. Thanks!
Around this time, my grandmother's prescription was filled and I was able to give closing remarks like, "I'm sorry about her passing away. Have a Merry Christmas!" And then walk away with my grandmother saying, "well they were nice!"
Grrr. I do not like having so many doppelgangers. This is probably the 7th one this year where someone has told me I look like girls they know. This time was most definitely the creepiest one yet though. I do not want to look like a girl who has a psycho ex-boyfriend. I do not like it at all. I refuse.
Note to the boys: Please don't be psycho and kill ex-girlfriends. That's just mean. Girls often will get over your relationship as soon as they meet another boy. So you should just meet another girl (WHO DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THE EX!!) and get over her too. Or become a monk. Just how I'm aspiring to become a nun. Just sayin'. Secondly, please don't ever let your mothers get numbers of girls for you. That's just odd. Especially when those girls look like people you know but aren't them. Thirdly, don't eat peanut butter. I don't want you to die either. Kthxbai
