The Office Fall

Sometimes, my life is awkward. And other times it's so awkwardly clumsy that it's funny. Today was the latter.

My boss had been out of town for a few days on business and had just gotten back today. Since it's the end of the month too everyone was very stressed. I was sitting in his office in a chair with my leg tucked underneath me as I always sit when I briefly drop in to go over items with him. Apparently, I wasn't so brief with him this time.

As I got up from the chair to leave, I put my left foot out to walk. As soon as my weight started shifting onto it, though, I knew. Something terrible was about to happen. 

When you realize something like that however it becomes so ominously depressing because you just know that you can't do anything to prevent the bad from happening. My immediate thought was, "Oh dear this won't be good." But continue I did and my foot went out. My weight continued to shift but my foot was NOT there.

Or rather, my foot was physically there but I could not feel it touching the ground. So i kept moving...down. Aka I collapsed. Right there in my boss's office. Right as he was getting a phone call with a client started. So he asks, 'Are you ok?' and goes back to his phone call.

At that point, it was embarrassing and slightly confusing because I didn't understand why my foot didn't work. But I said, "Yes I'm fine" and to prove it, I try getting up again. 

Note to self: when your foot is limp and apparently so asleep you can't feel anything (including the floor or the tingly sensation you usually get with a sleepy foot) that is a good time to continue sitting on the floor. I learned this the hard way and I got up to prove I was ok.

I stood up trying to have dignity and promptly fell over again. This fall, unfortunately, ended up with me falling onto my foot. So now not only was it asleep my foot had impact damage too. Still with that damage, I think I would have attempted to get up again for a third time if it weren't for my shoe. My shoe went flying this second round. I sorta rolled over to where it was in the office (mind you, my boss is on the phone trying to ignore me at this point) and try to put it on. Since it was a fancy flip flip, you sorta have to wiggle ur toes to get the middle part in between your toes. I couldn't wiggle my toes. 

I don't think I have ever had such a lack of feeling in my foot. Since I couldn't wiggle or feel my toes, I had to use my hands to force the flip flop on awkwardly. That took a few moments and I had a moment to try to compose myself.

Clearly that did not work. I could tell that Annie was already doubled over in her chair laughing, Debbie was running over to try to help me and everyone else had their mouths gaping and laughing and I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe. At this point, the only thing one could do was to try not to fall for a 3rd time. That was probably one of the hardest challenges I've ever had to do. 

Thank goodness I used to do yoga. I managed to pull myself up by some random move on my right leg. Then I tried exiting Tad's office and casually meander into the common area. As everyone is staring and howling with laughter, I test out my foot. By this time (probably a good 2 minutes after the 1st fall), my foot was FINALLY tingly. So I managed to hobble as gracefully as one can hobble out of the office and into my desk chair to try to make my phone call.

Needless to say, I was laughing so hard I could barely breathe nevertheless talk. It took me 15 minutes to try to compose myself before I could pick up the receiver to call this client. And the rest of the day I was so worried I couldn't walk again without falling that I refused to get out of my chair. I wheeled it around very slowly everywhere I needed to go. When I left the office that night, only 2 people were remaining and I tried to be as discreet as possible about my limping. Thank goodness I am very comfortable with everyone in that office, otherwise I would have been mortified.

It is now 5 hours later and I still can't walk on my foot and it's now swollen. This was all from me trying to get out of a chair. Just imagine me trying to do some sort of physical activity like soccer. But it's ok I'm still laughing so hard that Momma T just asked me if I was alright (:

PS- I'm moving into my apartment on Sunday. Clearly this will be an entertaining move since I can't walk anymore and since my father is old with gout. Help is greatly wanted/needed. I will feed you. Or buy you Wawa and/or local deli food. Yay!