Thursday, August 19, 2010

Coupons

I thought that I was doing well on the whole not-having-attracted-any-creepy-or-socially-awkward-boys lately. False. My creeper magnet still works.

For those of you who don't know, I have this tendency of attracting very awkward boys or at least making shy boys very awkwardly uncomfortable in my presence (and they don't embrace their awkwardness like they should). No one quite understands this phenomenon and if you have a good explanation outside of pheromones, do tell me (privately, please lol).

On Sunday, I was in church and met this quiet dude with my other guy friend. Quiet dude was new in town and wanted to invite us over to his house for dinner that night because he was new and needed friends.

My guy friend and I decide, 'sure why not' and we go to his house for dinner that evening. The poor boy was very nervous about serving us dinner and kept explaining what everything was and if we didn't like it then it was ok, etc. After dinner, we sit and chillax for a bit and then get up to leave. In which he stops us and asks, "Are you two dating? I hear that it usually is not normal for a guy and girl to just 'hang out' without dating or being interested in them."

Um- what? It took all the will-power I had to not double-over in laughter. First of all, no- I'm definitely not dating him. Second, this is me: I'm always in the friend zone with dudes. C'mon now- that's my rep as Cara the Face. But seriously, I can't decide if I admire this guy's honesty and bluntness (as that honestly does make life so much easier) or if I should tell him that most people don't ask straight up but instead stalk and observe in various ways first so they don't create awkward situations between the couple. Lol.

So yea, I was already amused by this kid. The next evening, I get home from work and receive 3 messages from quiet dude via Facebook. None of them are very relevant to this story but one is very entertaining but I won't embarrass this kid too much on here but it involves a beaver-groundhog beast attacking a car muffler. Anyhoo- as soon as I logged onto facebook, he started chatting me up. Mind you, I was also on the phone with my mother and wasn't paying attention that much. The next thing I realize in my conversation with him I read (while still on the phone) 'If you're interested, I have a coupon for a 2 for 1 lunch or dinner at Matilda's.'

Whoa. Whoa! There are two ways I could interpret this. 1- He has a coupon he's trying to get rid of. 2- He was asking me out. What is the safest way to play down any awkwardness? This way, or so I thought: 'No thanks- I never go to that restaurant so it'll go to waste if you give it to me.' Bahaha- a terrible way to play naive but I did it. I was so proud of myself for totally avoiding any awkward situations because after all it wasn't even in person but via Facebook and I was saving him from embarrassment by pretending it wasn't him trying to ask me out! (Side note: Every person I've talked to has said it was definitely him trying to ask me out.)

His response to my rejection of the coupon was, "Thank you for your honesty."

......

What are some good responses for me to say to that last comment of his? Um, 'You're welcome!' or 'Absolutely!' or 'Anytime!' ?

Yea. I can't think of anything and definitely couldn't at that moment. I don't even remember what I did or how I tried to change the subject back to the pretend beaver and burning mufflers. But I did. And I was trying not to die laughing inside while still talking to my mother or to give anything away to what was going on around me. (She's very old so she wouldn't understand the ways of the world of dating and relationships of this generation.)

Poor guy. I do feel sorry for him. And because of my pity for him and all shy, awkward boys, I am going to start compiling a list to send to all the guys at UD on what not to do to get a girl on a date. One of them includes: Don't use a coupon as a way to get a girl to a restaurant for two reasons. 1- She can interpret that in different ways and pretend it's not a date all too easily and then the whole situation will be awkward. 2- She will think you're cheap. Personally, I am pro-coupons usually. Just not as the way to get the girl to come out with you. But guys, do feel free to use coupons to pay for things. I fully support coupons.

Also- for your entertainment I am also compiling a list for you of all my creepers. Enjoy the mystery if you don't know the stories behind their names but they go by code names to save their humility.

1- Opera boy
2- Bowling boy
3- Composites Boy
4- Coupon Boy
5- Farm Fair/ Wrestling boy
6- Ice Cream boy
7- Frenchman
And... I can't think of the others. But I will. Don't worry.

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