Saturday night was supposed to be a chill night. And I guess in theory, it still kinda was. Catherine's guy friends decided to pregame before going out to the bars at our house (not much harm in that) and then left. I refused to go out with them (much to their false dismay, lol) due to my 'fun' from Friday night. So they left and I went to bed.
If I was smart that would be where the story had ended. But I wasn't smart because I forgot to lock my bedroom door. At 1:45, I was very abruptly awoken by Bronco Mike in my room trying to PICK ME UP while I was sleeping in my bed curled up in my sheets. And he tried to take me out of my room but was too drunk to lift me and walk simultaneously (such a blessing!). Being picked up by a drunk dude sure does wake you up shrieking, I promise you that (and I dont scream that much either). After I screamed and he put me down he said, 'But CARA-- It's so hot in here. Come downstairs with us! Come now!! It's so much cooler on the porch. Pleeeeeeassssee???????'
Sigh. To get him out of my room, I went downstairs where one of the boys (I forget which one), saw me, asked if he woke me up and then punched Mike (who was at that moment poking me repeatedly). The other guys said that they would control him and that I could go to bed. (Catherine, of course, was not home.) So I went upstairs for about 5 minutes to go back to sleep.
Which is then when I was woken up AGAIN. By the vuvuzella. (Sidenote: A vuvuzella is probs the third worst thing ever for me to wake up to. It's almost as bad as being woken up by a man trying to pick you up or by guys bleeding outside of your door). I went storming down the stairs, screamed at them to shut up, demanded them hand me the instrument, found all the iPods so they wouldn't start blasting the stereo and went back upstairs to bed. (I think this is when I texted Catherine saying the boys were back.)
Ten minutes later, I was woken up the third time by Bronco Mike. He tried coming in to visit me again but since my door was locked, he couldn't enter. Therefore, he desperately stood there outside of my door and pounded on it saying, 'CARA! CAAAARAAA! Cara! CARA! Open the door! OPEN! PLEASE??? Be my friend! CARA!' (At least this night he could remember my name unlike the first time I encountered him.) I got annoyed so I opened up. What did I open up the door to see??? Mike happily chewing away on a box of broccoli. Oh wait, correction: FROZEN BROCCOLI.
Yes, he was eating broccoli that came straight out of the freezer. I glared at him and asked him if he had asked to eat it. Like so many of the four year olds I have instructed, he looked guiltily away and said, 'No. Whose is this?' It was mine. Or was mine until he found it. His response, 'Oooooh ahhaahahah. Can I eat it, PLEEEEASSSSE?!?!' My response was, 'Isn't it a bit late for you to be asking me? Finish it and then repay me later.'
He was so excited he said, 'YAY! I'll give you a dollar later, I PROMISE! THANKS CARA!' And then frolicked down the stairs. I followed, saw that Catherine was back, and rolled my eyes at her. After that, I think I tried to stay awake for a bit longer but got so freaked out when they were kicking a soccer ball around that I decided I was just going to go to bed and give up trying to save the house.
Upstairs, I looked out my window and noticed that a police car was parked out on the street right in front of our house. The only thing I did was see it, lock my door, turn off my lights and pray that it wasn't actually there for our house. (Later, I found out it wasn't. There was a DUI and that's why he was out there. Bronco Mike also apparently started saying, 'FRONT ROW SEATS!! FRONT ROW SEATS!' all enthusiastically and at that point everyone freaked out at him and tried to get him inside. Not sure what happened after because I fell asleep.
I did learn though that most guys tend to freak out when a girl tells them that they were woken up the night before by a drunk guy trying to carry her out of her bed. So I may be more careful next time when telling one of these stories. Especially to public safety friends. Because then they look at me funny.
Moral of the story, kids: Lock your doors, hide your broccoli and your vuvuzellas and all will be fine in the morning.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Picking up Strangers from Airports
I had to pick up John from the airport last Saturday (aka California kid for those of you who don’t know) and didn’t have any info besides his name, flight number and airline. And by flight number I mean a random grouping of four numbers that didn’t come close to anything on the screen. And by airline, that didn’t matter since the numbers were wrong and since his baggage claim didn’t even use the correct airline’s area. (I’m still mad about that, by the way.) Anyhoo- I made a fun sign that said ‘John Swanson’ on it to stand with all the cab drivers and people with the signs that are hired to pick up people so that I could find him. Well, apparently signs are only common in developing countries and other airports that are not the Philadelphia International Airport. In other words, I couldn’t bring myself to hold up a sign since no one else was and embarrass myself publicly in a large group of people (since I like to only embarrass myself multiple times in smaller groups of people). So I did the only other thing I could: walk up to strangers and ask them if they were named John.
Yes. I really did that. The first guy I walked up to was a young, college-age looking guy so I asked him ‘Are you John?’ because at that point, that was the only thing I could do since Kate is extremely slow at responding to my panicked calls. This dude’s response was, ‘No but I could be a John. Wanna take me home please?’… Not what I wanted to hear when in search for the Lost John of Cal Poly. Thanks random strange man for creeping on me. On the good side, the next guy I went up to asking if they were John was actually John. Yay!!!!
Ooh- also, Catherine and her little brother were in the parked car waiting for me to find this kid since we had just come back from Hershey Park (poor John- we were so tired and gross after being out in the sun all day, I feel sorry for him meeting us that way). Chaz (Catherine’s little brother) received a text from their mother asking them where they were (since we kind of forgot to tell both Chaz and the parents where we were going). So they texted back, ‘Philadelphia Int'l airport. Vegas here we come!!!’ Their mom was like, ‘No really, where are you?’ And they wrote, ‘The airport.’ Later when asked about why they were there Chaz told her that we had to pick up Catherine’s boyfriend from California- which is amusing since the next weekend Catherine went to San Francisco to visit her friend which so conveniently is where John flew out of. Needless to say, Catherine had a lot of explaining to do later.
So the next time you see Catherine, please ask her how her boyfriend is doing. kthxbai.
Yes. I really did that. The first guy I walked up to was a young, college-age looking guy so I asked him ‘Are you John?’ because at that point, that was the only thing I could do since Kate is extremely slow at responding to my panicked calls. This dude’s response was, ‘No but I could be a John. Wanna take me home please?’… Not what I wanted to hear when in search for the Lost John of Cal Poly. Thanks random strange man for creeping on me. On the good side, the next guy I went up to asking if they were John was actually John. Yay!!!!
Ooh- also, Catherine and her little brother were in the parked car waiting for me to find this kid since we had just come back from Hershey Park (poor John- we were so tired and gross after being out in the sun all day, I feel sorry for him meeting us that way). Chaz (Catherine’s little brother) received a text from their mother asking them where they were (since we kind of forgot to tell both Chaz and the parents where we were going). So they texted back, ‘Philadelphia Int'l airport. Vegas here we come!!!’ Their mom was like, ‘No really, where are you?’ And they wrote, ‘The airport.’ Later when asked about why they were there Chaz told her that we had to pick up Catherine’s boyfriend from California- which is amusing since the next weekend Catherine went to San Francisco to visit her friend which so conveniently is where John flew out of. Needless to say, Catherine had a lot of explaining to do later.
So the next time you see Catherine, please ask her how her boyfriend is doing. kthxbai.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
The New Guy
For some reason, this summer is the season of trying to matchmake Cara Watson. For example, my boss told me that she thought I should meet her 20 yr old brother and proceeded to ramble about how she should try hooking us up because she didn’t like his girlfriend because ‘that girl is too goth for him.’ When I convinced her that it probably wasn’t a good idea to meddle in his life, she agreed and let it go. Or so I thought but then she mentioned that the new guy at work was super cute. [Mental note to all young, single people: when someone you don’t know very well mentions how cute a boy (or girl) is, always watch out. They are trying to instigate something.] My boss wouldn’t drop it until I finally mentioned that yes, the new guy is quite a good looker (think Josh Groban hair with a super hot body AND a brain because, after all, he is a chemical engineer. Also tangent: I'm pretty sure that Croda has a requirement that all their male engineers must be easy on the eyes).
I managed to escape my boss after I finally admitted how cute the new guy is (which prompted a few smug looks from her) and hurried back to my office. Three hours later, Kristina (my boss) comes prancing into my office and told me to go entertain the new guy for an hour because he had nothing to do. And I look at her and said, ‘well, what am I supposed to do? I’m bored here all the time too!’ Her response: ‘I don’t know. Show him the files on our computer or something. Just keep him not bored.’ and then walks away. Sounds fishy, doesn’t it?
In order to get to his office, you have to walk through the purchasing office which consists of pretty much the only women on the site and they like to talk. So awkwardly, I weave in and out of them trying to get to his office only to find that he wasn’t there. I turn around to leave and just forget about this new assignment when my boss just happened to be in the doorway. She ordered me to leave a note for him to come find me. Seriously, she really did.
Me being insanely ADHD, grabbed three of his dry erase markers and wrote, ‘I was ordered to come here and un-bored you for an hour but you aren’t here. But if and when you do get bored, come find me in my office and I’ll attempt to un-bored you.’ Yes. I did write that. I don’t know what possessed me since clearly that is not a very professional note. On top of that, since he had never been to my office before I decided to draw him a map of the building and where his office was (with a ‘You are Here’ star) and where my office was (even though it seriously is just around the corner).
Fifteen minutes later, he shows up in my office grinning and said ‘I got your note….’ Yeaaaa. Let me just say that after leaving notes like that, it is very uncomfortably awkward starting a conversation. But I survived. Barely. I definitely found it hard to entertain him for more than fifteen minutes. But I let him play with Aspen and find all of our files on the servers.
The next day was Friday which means that I do the hazardous waste audit and my team orders lunch together. Go figure I forget that I don’t have cash on me and as I started to say, ‘Go order without me and I’ll just head to Wawa to get something later,’ Mr. New Guy hands the guy a twenty and says that he can cover me until later which naturally makes everyone stare at me waiting for my reaction with eyebrows raised and smug looks on their faces. I’m telling you- the people I work with need more stuff to do because clearly they aren’t busy enough to stop gossiping. And right after he pays, I’m told to go with him and my matchmaking boss to the wastewater unit to give him a tour of how things work and teach him how to do the audit since ‘he and I will be doing the audit together.’ Meh. The entire time my boss keeps giving me funny looks. Sighhh. I really hope he’s taken and declares he’s taken so that everyone will stop trying to give me hints especially since he most likely doesn’t have the Jesus-love going on.
So now life at the office is very awkward because of this idea that is now in everyone’s minds in the SHE department.
Oh right—I already tried to pull the ‘dating other coworkers is against company policy’ and I was told that ‘I was non-union and so was he so it doesn’t matter.’ Great. And Michael tried to get me to invite him out to drinks on Friday night just so I could have another awkward moment. Luckily he went back up to Penn State this weekend. Maybe I will invite him out with us UD cheggers at some point just for kicks and giggles (watch out though boys, he’s a frat guy and a super prep and all the girls will flock to him so be prepared for a deflation of the insanely large egos y'all have).
I managed to escape my boss after I finally admitted how cute the new guy is (which prompted a few smug looks from her) and hurried back to my office. Three hours later, Kristina (my boss) comes prancing into my office and told me to go entertain the new guy for an hour because he had nothing to do. And I look at her and said, ‘well, what am I supposed to do? I’m bored here all the time too!’ Her response: ‘I don’t know. Show him the files on our computer or something. Just keep him not bored.’ and then walks away. Sounds fishy, doesn’t it?
In order to get to his office, you have to walk through the purchasing office which consists of pretty much the only women on the site and they like to talk. So awkwardly, I weave in and out of them trying to get to his office only to find that he wasn’t there. I turn around to leave and just forget about this new assignment when my boss just happened to be in the doorway. She ordered me to leave a note for him to come find me. Seriously, she really did.
Me being insanely ADHD, grabbed three of his dry erase markers and wrote, ‘I was ordered to come here and un-bored you for an hour but you aren’t here. But if and when you do get bored, come find me in my office and I’ll attempt to un-bored you.’ Yes. I did write that. I don’t know what possessed me since clearly that is not a very professional note. On top of that, since he had never been to my office before I decided to draw him a map of the building and where his office was (with a ‘You are Here’ star) and where my office was (even though it seriously is just around the corner).
Fifteen minutes later, he shows up in my office grinning and said ‘I got your note….’ Yeaaaa. Let me just say that after leaving notes like that, it is very uncomfortably awkward starting a conversation. But I survived. Barely. I definitely found it hard to entertain him for more than fifteen minutes. But I let him play with Aspen and find all of our files on the servers.
The next day was Friday which means that I do the hazardous waste audit and my team orders lunch together. Go figure I forget that I don’t have cash on me and as I started to say, ‘Go order without me and I’ll just head to Wawa to get something later,’ Mr. New Guy hands the guy a twenty and says that he can cover me until later which naturally makes everyone stare at me waiting for my reaction with eyebrows raised and smug looks on their faces. I’m telling you- the people I work with need more stuff to do because clearly they aren’t busy enough to stop gossiping. And right after he pays, I’m told to go with him and my matchmaking boss to the wastewater unit to give him a tour of how things work and teach him how to do the audit since ‘he and I will be doing the audit together.’ Meh. The entire time my boss keeps giving me funny looks. Sighhh. I really hope he’s taken and declares he’s taken so that everyone will stop trying to give me hints especially since he most likely doesn’t have the Jesus-love going on.
So now life at the office is very awkward because of this idea that is now in everyone’s minds in the SHE department.
Oh right—I already tried to pull the ‘dating other coworkers is against company policy’ and I was told that ‘I was non-union and so was he so it doesn’t matter.’ Great. And Michael tried to get me to invite him out to drinks on Friday night just so I could have another awkward moment. Luckily he went back up to Penn State this weekend. Maybe I will invite him out with us UD cheggers at some point just for kicks and giggles (watch out though boys, he’s a frat guy and a super prep and all the girls will flock to him so be prepared for a deflation of the insanely large egos y'all have).
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