Annie's GreenBuild Creeper

So my coworkers were up to Toronto for GreenBuild, which is a USGBC conference on green building. While they were up there, they were invited to a party hosted by GreenGuard. Basically they had an awesome time and were in a dance-off with our competing company (although they keep denying it). While they were dancing on the stage, a lumberjack was jumping up and down with them from Fire Safety Misting Company. Mind you, my coworker Annie didn't pay that much attention to him since he couldn't dance and was a lumberjack from Boston. She didn't remember his name or who he was nor did she really talk to him. About a week after the conference, she received an email. The following email correspondence is completely true. I have bolded the best parts.

From: Harry, Lance
Sent: Friday, October 14, 2011 10:56 AM
To: Annie Bevan
Subject: From Greenbuild... hello

Hey Annie… just wanted to say hi.  Hope you got back from Toronto ok… sorry were weren’t able to connect again… realized your email probably wasn’t going to work.

Wouldn’t mind keeping in touch.

Have a great weekend

Lance H.

***At this point, Annie wanted to keep him as a networking contact for work in case we ever needed Fire Safety things.***
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From: Annie Bevan
Sent: Monday, October 17, 2011 12:38 PM
To: Harry, Lance
Subject: RE: From Greenbuild... hello

Hey Lance!

Great meeting you in GreenBuild too! The trip home was a little rough being it was Canadian Thanksgiving as well as the airport security had issued a “slow down” because they can’t strike…so that may have been the longest security line I ever waited in…but it worked out and we all made it home in one piece.

How did the rest of your GreenBuild go?

I’d definitely like to stay in touch. (Note to all girls: DO NOT EVER SAY THIS! CREEPERS WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE! I should know. I have experience)

Talk to you soon.

Annie

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From: Harry, Lance
Sent: Monday, October 17, 2011 1:18 PM
To: Annie Bevan
Subject: RE: From Greenbuild... hello

Hey Annie…  great to hear from you J (Smiley face #1)

Yes… security was an adventure… most of us stayed through Friday morning… but we had a few people there on Thursday night when it got really crazy with the security ‘sort of’ strike!  Lol…  we had a few people txting us from the line saying they had stood there for like 5 hours without moving… crazy!

I had an early flight on Friday… it wasn’t horrible… luckily I got there early enough (5:15!)… so made it through ok… spent ~30 min in customs and ~40 min in security line, but ended up getting right to my gate about the time we started boarding, so worked out fine!

Show was ‘ok’ for us… its more about our overall corporate presence (UTC… big ass company) than it is about getting leads!   I was wandering around the show at one point Thursday hoping I’d run into you!  Thought for a second you had a booth, then thought you and your colleagues were just there taking classes, etc wasn’t sure.…  when I saw your card didn’t have you’re cell… I knew id have a hard time finding you again!

Is this email ok to use?  Should I switch to a non-work related email?  I don’t want to get you in trouble..

How was the weekend?  I went to the Pats-Cowboys game with some friends… great game… still recovering!  So your NW of Philly eh?   So now that we have ‘time’ to actually have a conversation, lol…  my last two years of HS were in Bucks Co…  Newtown…  Council Rock.  Do you know it?  My dad’s side of the family is from the Audubon area (I hardly know any of them… its been a while since I’ve been down that way).  Just thought you’d find that funny…

Do you use Yahoo IM?  Or Blackberry Msgr? 

Definitely keep in touch!  J (Note: 2nd smiley face of the email)

-Lance

The first 40 days in Phoenixville

It has been 40 days of me living in the wonderfully awkward and bizarre town called Phoenixville. I think that this town was actually made with me in mind... mainly because of all the weird and awkward things I have experienced and seen while living in this town. So let me update you with my stories.

After the first week I moved in, Michael came up to visit and we went to Bethlehem for a Needtobreathe concert. While I was driving (yes, he finally let me drive), I stopped at a stop sign. This man started crossing the street. He was in his 50s (most likely) and shirtless with his beer belly showing and I didn't want to look at that so I sorta looked away while he walked in front of my car. As I wasn't paying attention to him, Michael then says, "Is that man wearing a snake?!" Instantly, my head shot up to look at him. Sure enough, this man had on in replace of a shirt a giant boa constrictor, probably 6 feet long wrapped around his neck like a scarf. Because that's normal.

Once we were at the concert, we had fun. I made friends with this girl who had cute boots on and a giant rock on her finger. Afterwards we go to leave but I decided I should use the facility before we start the drive home. We had already exited the building so we turn around to go back through the door. There were like 4 other guys trying to go through the door and like 4 girls trying leave through the door. This very drunk man stops all of us and lets the girls filter out. Then he turns to me and says, "ladies first" and lets me enter. I go through and heard someone say something to me so I turn around and say, "what?" expecting Michael to be right behind me speaking.

Apparently, Michael was cut off by the very drunk man because the very drunk man was talking to me really close. I try to figure out what the guy wants and he says, "you know, a guy like me is very lonely and could use a girl like you. Want to come with me? I have a hotel room" and he started to grab my arm to drag me away.

I clearly start panicking and Michael was a few steps behind and wasn't quite realizing what was happening. So I turn my head and get Michael's attention and mouth the words "help me", or as Michael put it I "silently screamed for help." And then Michael comes over and the guy starts stuttering, "Oooh you have a boyfriend! I wouldn't have asked you if I knew you had one. Sorry" And then he walked away. As if my opinion of him greatly changed now that I knew he thought I was single at first. Actually, I'm worried that if I was with other girls and not a guy, I worry what he would have continued to say to me since I am in fact single. To be honest, I'm shocked that he walked away so easily and didn't follow. I'm very grateful that he walked away with no other comments direct towards me. (This is why I keep guy friends around- yay thanks Michael for chasing away that creepy guy.)

The week after, I go to buy a couch. I go to a furniture store after getting off of work late so it's around 8 o'clock and clearly the guy is bored. Not only does he follow me around the store, he ends up talking my ear off about books and music and my new town. Apparently he's in a folk band and plays at bars in my town. He practically asked me out to an open mic without actually explicitly saying those words. I didn't think anything at all about saying I couldn't go until I was being rung up for the couch I was buying-- aka, I had to give this boy my cell phone number, my address and a check in order to buy this couch. I completely didn't think that through. But he didn't stalk me or anything which is good.

The week after my couch came, Patty came to visit. We went to eat outside at this little bistro. Right as we get our drinks, a bird pooped on my head. Unfortunately, there were a bunch of middle school and high school kids eating near us so I knew that if I made a commotion about it, they would then freak out and it would be an obnoxious mess. So I had to sit through the entire meal without saying anything knowing that there was bird poop in my hair. The good thing is that apparently a bird pooping on your head means good financial luck is supposed to be coming your way, woot! After dinner, Patty and I go to get ice cream. We are walking back and a boy stops us and says, "can I lick your ice cream cone?" in a very creepy manner. We continued walking. I then washed the poop out of my hair. And that's a normal day walking down Bridge Street for me.

A week after that, I am driving home from work and am at a stop sign. A man drove by me on a motorcycle with a little sidecar attached. In that sidecar was not a passenger. Instead, there was a giant (probs about 4 feet), overstuffed Teddy Bear buckled in and wearing a bike helmet, no big deal. That was a very odd sight. Sorry I didn't get a picture, I tried but he drove away too fast.

Moving on, this past Saturday, I witnessed a real life Elmo standing on the street corner. I don't even want to know what that was about.

And the cherry on top of these 40 days was today. Today I was driving home from church and was on Bridge Street about to turn onto Gay/Franklin Street when a military truck filled with armed soldiers drivers by. And then another. And then another. And then THREE ARMY TANKS drive by with soldiers in it and then 2 more army trucks. Fully armed. For no good reason. I managed to take a picture. (Note: I worked on an Army base so I'm used to military equipment howeverrr I am NOT used to it being driven down the street on civilian land.)

And here is a picture to prove that I didn't make it all up.

So this is my new town and my new life. It's not getting any less awkward so I anticipate lots of stories in the future :)