Yesterday was my birthday. Now I don't celebrate my birthday very hardcore because that attention is awkward and it's almost always during Lent when I'm restricted in my eating and activities. But it wouldn't be a Cara Watson Birthday without some sort of awkward or terrifying moment.
Last night I had 3 friends over to watch Saturday Morning cartoons and eat cereal and 90s breakfast foods to celebrate my aging. My friends were late. So I had unlocked my front door so when they came they could just let themselves in instead of me having to run across my apartment. Well, at around 7:20 I hear my front door open. Thinking it was my coworker/bestest-friend-ever Mikey Campbell, I started moving forward towards my door to tease, "so you think you can just let yourself in automatically now, eh?"
When I turned the corner to my stairs who I saw was not my coworker/bestest-friend-ever. It was in fact, a very large stranger wearing "gangsta" clothing (for lack of a better description) about to climb up my front stairs in my apartment.
Before I had any time to react and tell him to get out, he shouted, "I'M SO DRUNK!" and then his friend pulled him by the back of his shirt out of my apartment shutting the door muttering something like he was a moron.
After that happened, I pulled my phone out and grabbed a broom in my efforts in case it happened again. My plan in case stuff like that happens is to shoo them out and if that doesn't work to scream for my shirtless neighbor. He would come running to rescue me, I'm sure of it.
The men hung around for a few more minutes because they were waiting for the bus (the bus stop is next to the deli on the other side- hence why they were waiting near my door). But they didn't cause any other trouble which is good, I think.
Showing posts with label strangers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label strangers. Show all posts
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Stuffed Pancakes with Strawberries
Hello blog friends (: It has been a while, I know and I apologize for my minor blip into nonawkward-land. I won't do it again. I come bearing a wonderful story from last night though in hopes to make it up to you.
As many of you are aware, I have been a ravenous fiend for the past few months eating everything in my path. I'm sorta like a campus squirrel or a bear about to begin hibernation. Perhaps I have convinced myself that upon the start of summer I may never eat again and that is why I am eating so much, I do not know. But since I was starving (again), I convinced my lovely friend, Patty, to stop at IHOP on our way back from the airport last night.
Here we are, two girls in the IHOP on Main Street, chomping down on our food at 1am as is a normal occurrence for me and my friends. My hunger is temporarily satisfied and we receive the bill. As we are debating on getting up or not, this boy starts to walk by us. But walk by us, he does not. He decides to stop and tell us something very important.
"You MUST get the stuffed pancakes with strawberries."
What? "Hi girls. You must get the stuffed pancakes with strawberries. They are sooooo good. You must get them."
At which point, he decides to plop himself down next to Patty in the booth and wrap his arm around her. (Patty's face silently screamed, "Oh heyyyyy there. Whatcha doing?") I responded to him saying, "well next time we will definitely order those stuffed pancakes with strawberries then."
To his response being, "What did you get this time?"
"Eggs and bacon"
"Oh no. That's gonna make you vom. You need to get the pancakes. That won't make you vom. You are gonna vom." (Apparently, the need to finish saying words is unnecessary.)
"No it won't. I'm not drunk. Unlike you."
"You are going to vom. Hi- what's your name because you are my new friend." (He said to Patty). Patty answers and then he asks us our majors. She said human services at which point he reaffirmed his new friendship with her. She was very uncomfortable. I said engineering because most times if I say chemical engineering to a drunk student at UD they either get so impressed or they get so confused so I stick with plain old 'engineering'.
This boy, still in our booth, then asks me (he was a geology major) what type of engineering I was. I was impressed because a lot of people don't know that there are different kinds nor do they care to ask. I responded with chemical at which point he said, "Do you know Catherine Collison?!"
"YES! She's like one of my really close friends"
"NO WAY?! I LOVE CATHY! I'm gonna go sit on her side of the table, sorry, no offense Patty."
This very drunk boy then comes over to my side of the table to give me lots and lots of hugs. Please note: He said Cathy in the last comment. This is important because, you see, Catherine hates the name Cathy but everyone else really loves it. I successfully got our senior design advisors to call her Cathy Collision instead of Catherine Collison. I was also told that a guy on the sailing team was insistent on calling her Cathy as well. In fact, Cathy had told me at 4pm that very afternoon that I needed to meet this guy named Matt because he and I would get along so well since we both loved calling her Cathy.
As we are hugging each other, I tell him that I love Cathy and the sailing team and I love calling her Cathy. He said, "Oh my God. Me too!!" I ask him his name so we can text her. He says, "Matt Bowden."
Yes. I did just randomly happen to meet a person that my friend told me to meet 9 hours after that conversation by shear coincidence. Without any mutual friends around. I love Delaware. It is only here that that can happen on a regular basis and we shouldn't be surprised by it.
After lots more hugs, I tell him that we need to go home and he should find his people so we parted ways. I friended him on Facebook with the message, "When you get this, you won't have any idea who I am because you were blacked-out drunk at IHOP but we both know Cathy Collison and must be real friends." He then professed his love for me. I have it in writing. You can check my facebook wall.
And yes, the next time I go to IHOP, I will make sure to order the stuffed pancakes with strawberries just because my new friend, Matt, told me to. You should order them to.
As many of you are aware, I have been a ravenous fiend for the past few months eating everything in my path. I'm sorta like a campus squirrel or a bear about to begin hibernation. Perhaps I have convinced myself that upon the start of summer I may never eat again and that is why I am eating so much, I do not know. But since I was starving (again), I convinced my lovely friend, Patty, to stop at IHOP on our way back from the airport last night.
Here we are, two girls in the IHOP on Main Street, chomping down on our food at 1am as is a normal occurrence for me and my friends. My hunger is temporarily satisfied and we receive the bill. As we are debating on getting up or not, this boy starts to walk by us. But walk by us, he does not. He decides to stop and tell us something very important.
"You MUST get the stuffed pancakes with strawberries."
What? "Hi girls. You must get the stuffed pancakes with strawberries. They are sooooo good. You must get them."
At which point, he decides to plop himself down next to Patty in the booth and wrap his arm around her. (Patty's face silently screamed, "Oh heyyyyy there. Whatcha doing?") I responded to him saying, "well next time we will definitely order those stuffed pancakes with strawberries then."
To his response being, "What did you get this time?"
"Eggs and bacon"
"Oh no. That's gonna make you vom. You need to get the pancakes. That won't make you vom. You are gonna vom." (Apparently, the need to finish saying words is unnecessary.)
"No it won't. I'm not drunk. Unlike you."
"You are going to vom. Hi- what's your name because you are my new friend." (He said to Patty). Patty answers and then he asks us our majors. She said human services at which point he reaffirmed his new friendship with her. She was very uncomfortable. I said engineering because most times if I say chemical engineering to a drunk student at UD they either get so impressed or they get so confused so I stick with plain old 'engineering'.
This boy, still in our booth, then asks me (he was a geology major) what type of engineering I was. I was impressed because a lot of people don't know that there are different kinds nor do they care to ask. I responded with chemical at which point he said, "Do you know Catherine Collison?!"
"YES! She's like one of my really close friends"
"NO WAY?! I LOVE CATHY! I'm gonna go sit on her side of the table, sorry, no offense Patty."
This very drunk boy then comes over to my side of the table to give me lots and lots of hugs. Please note: He said Cathy in the last comment. This is important because, you see, Catherine hates the name Cathy but everyone else really loves it. I successfully got our senior design advisors to call her Cathy Collision instead of Catherine Collison. I was also told that a guy on the sailing team was insistent on calling her Cathy as well. In fact, Cathy had told me at 4pm that very afternoon that I needed to meet this guy named Matt because he and I would get along so well since we both loved calling her Cathy.
As we are hugging each other, I tell him that I love Cathy and the sailing team and I love calling her Cathy. He said, "Oh my God. Me too!!" I ask him his name so we can text her. He says, "Matt Bowden."
Yes. I did just randomly happen to meet a person that my friend told me to meet 9 hours after that conversation by shear coincidence. Without any mutual friends around. I love Delaware. It is only here that that can happen on a regular basis and we shouldn't be surprised by it.
After lots more hugs, I tell him that we need to go home and he should find his people so we parted ways. I friended him on Facebook with the message, "When you get this, you won't have any idea who I am because you were blacked-out drunk at IHOP but we both know Cathy Collison and must be real friends." He then professed his love for me. I have it in writing. You can check my facebook wall.
And yes, the next time I go to IHOP, I will make sure to order the stuffed pancakes with strawberries just because my new friend, Matt, told me to. You should order them to.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Catherine's Lost and Found Phone
The other day had potential to be terrible. Or awesome. Really it was just ordinary with the exception of the possibility of being kidnapped.
In other words, Catherine left her phone in the grocery store. So as she was panicking about not being able to find it, I'm trying to call it to rescue the nifty contraption but to no avail. Luckily, a woman found it! Yay... sorta. I don't know about you, but if you find a cell phone in the grocery store and you don't intend on stealing it, why wouldn't you just give it to customer service at the front instead of keeping it and trying to deal with it yourself?
I don't know why she decided to take matters into her own hand but she did. And got some stranger man (probs her hubby) to call Catherine's father. Who then emailed Catherine telling Catherine to 'call this man- he has your phone.' Thanks Mr. Collison.
Catherine found me and used my phone to contact this random dude who has her phone and we have no idea who he is. And being the bright, single girl that she is, she agrees to go to his house to pick it up (so as not to inconvenience him apparently).
Girl-101 clearly teaches us to NEVER DO THAT! So Catherine, then asked me to go with her, and I do because I don't want her to die alone and if I die, I have Jesus so it'll be ok for me. But before we left, I sent out a text to 6 people saying, 'Going to retrieve Catherine's phone at a strange man's house so if we're human trafficked, you'll know why. Here's the address....'
You know who is a good ICE (In Case of Emergency) contact when they respond quickly and in a caring manner. Such as 'hahahaha' or 'best.text.ever.'
When we got to the house, we get out. The house is completely dark while all the neighboring houses in the development are lit up, thus giving off this eery feeling. As we get out of the car, I grab a pen to have, just in case, to stab him if he does something. I have my phone unlocked and ready to dial when Catherine rings the doorbell.
The man with the phone comes to the door and opens it, immediately handing her the phone. And says 'Here ya go!' No big deal. And then it happens.
The cutest and friendliest little terrier came running out of the house, barking and greeting us! And by terrier, I mean he looked like Wishbone. Any sketchy or uneasy feeling I had completely faded with the interaction of this dog and watching this dog sniff Catherine's butt. Sure, having a dog would have been a good ploy to distract us girls from the danger at hand but the niceness of the dog surely proved the intentions of the man and his inward spirit, I'm positive of it. Usually mean people have crazy animals and this dog was not crazy.
I was very sad to go. Happy that I was not raped or attacked or abused and happy that we got Catherine's phone back all nice a safely. But sad to leave the dog behind. I miss animals and pets. Oh well.
My advice for the future and all you readers is: don't take home lost phones from the grocery store but leave them at the store with the employees and don't meet strange men at their house to retrieve your phone, instead meet at a Wawa or Starbucks or some other public area. And Wishbone dogs are distracting, beware.
In other words, Catherine left her phone in the grocery store. So as she was panicking about not being able to find it, I'm trying to call it to rescue the nifty contraption but to no avail. Luckily, a woman found it! Yay... sorta. I don't know about you, but if you find a cell phone in the grocery store and you don't intend on stealing it, why wouldn't you just give it to customer service at the front instead of keeping it and trying to deal with it yourself?
I don't know why she decided to take matters into her own hand but she did. And got some stranger man (probs her hubby) to call Catherine's father. Who then emailed Catherine telling Catherine to 'call this man- he has your phone.' Thanks Mr. Collison.
Catherine found me and used my phone to contact this random dude who has her phone and we have no idea who he is. And being the bright, single girl that she is, she agrees to go to his house to pick it up (so as not to inconvenience him apparently).
Girl-101 clearly teaches us to NEVER DO THAT! So Catherine, then asked me to go with her, and I do because I don't want her to die alone and if I die, I have Jesus so it'll be ok for me. But before we left, I sent out a text to 6 people saying, 'Going to retrieve Catherine's phone at a strange man's house so if we're human trafficked, you'll know why. Here's the address....'
You know who is a good ICE (In Case of Emergency) contact when they respond quickly and in a caring manner. Such as 'hahahaha' or 'best.text.ever.'
When we got to the house, we get out. The house is completely dark while all the neighboring houses in the development are lit up, thus giving off this eery feeling. As we get out of the car, I grab a pen to have, just in case, to stab him if he does something. I have my phone unlocked and ready to dial when Catherine rings the doorbell.
The man with the phone comes to the door and opens it, immediately handing her the phone. And says 'Here ya go!' No big deal. And then it happens.
The cutest and friendliest little terrier came running out of the house, barking and greeting us! And by terrier, I mean he looked like Wishbone. Any sketchy or uneasy feeling I had completely faded with the interaction of this dog and watching this dog sniff Catherine's butt. Sure, having a dog would have been a good ploy to distract us girls from the danger at hand but the niceness of the dog surely proved the intentions of the man and his inward spirit, I'm positive of it. Usually mean people have crazy animals and this dog was not crazy.
I was very sad to go. Happy that I was not raped or attacked or abused and happy that we got Catherine's phone back all nice a safely. But sad to leave the dog behind. I miss animals and pets. Oh well.
My advice for the future and all you readers is: don't take home lost phones from the grocery store but leave them at the store with the employees and don't meet strange men at their house to retrieve your phone, instead meet at a Wawa or Starbucks or some other public area. And Wishbone dogs are distracting, beware.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Picking up Strangers from Airports
I had to pick up John from the airport last Saturday (aka California kid for those of you who don’t know) and didn’t have any info besides his name, flight number and airline. And by flight number I mean a random grouping of four numbers that didn’t come close to anything on the screen. And by airline, that didn’t matter since the numbers were wrong and since his baggage claim didn’t even use the correct airline’s area. (I’m still mad about that, by the way.) Anyhoo- I made a fun sign that said ‘John Swanson’ on it to stand with all the cab drivers and people with the signs that are hired to pick up people so that I could find him. Well, apparently signs are only common in developing countries and other airports that are not the Philadelphia International Airport. In other words, I couldn’t bring myself to hold up a sign since no one else was and embarrass myself publicly in a large group of people (since I like to only embarrass myself multiple times in smaller groups of people). So I did the only other thing I could: walk up to strangers and ask them if they were named John.
Yes. I really did that. The first guy I walked up to was a young, college-age looking guy so I asked him ‘Are you John?’ because at that point, that was the only thing I could do since Kate is extremely slow at responding to my panicked calls. This dude’s response was, ‘No but I could be a John. Wanna take me home please?’… Not what I wanted to hear when in search for the Lost John of Cal Poly. Thanks random strange man for creeping on me. On the good side, the next guy I went up to asking if they were John was actually John. Yay!!!!
Ooh- also, Catherine and her little brother were in the parked car waiting for me to find this kid since we had just come back from Hershey Park (poor John- we were so tired and gross after being out in the sun all day, I feel sorry for him meeting us that way). Chaz (Catherine’s little brother) received a text from their mother asking them where they were (since we kind of forgot to tell both Chaz and the parents where we were going). So they texted back, ‘Philadelphia Int'l airport. Vegas here we come!!!’ Their mom was like, ‘No really, where are you?’ And they wrote, ‘The airport.’ Later when asked about why they were there Chaz told her that we had to pick up Catherine’s boyfriend from California- which is amusing since the next weekend Catherine went to San Francisco to visit her friend which so conveniently is where John flew out of. Needless to say, Catherine had a lot of explaining to do later.
So the next time you see Catherine, please ask her how her boyfriend is doing. kthxbai.
Yes. I really did that. The first guy I walked up to was a young, college-age looking guy so I asked him ‘Are you John?’ because at that point, that was the only thing I could do since Kate is extremely slow at responding to my panicked calls. This dude’s response was, ‘No but I could be a John. Wanna take me home please?’… Not what I wanted to hear when in search for the Lost John of Cal Poly. Thanks random strange man for creeping on me. On the good side, the next guy I went up to asking if they were John was actually John. Yay!!!!
Ooh- also, Catherine and her little brother were in the parked car waiting for me to find this kid since we had just come back from Hershey Park (poor John- we were so tired and gross after being out in the sun all day, I feel sorry for him meeting us that way). Chaz (Catherine’s little brother) received a text from their mother asking them where they were (since we kind of forgot to tell both Chaz and the parents where we were going). So they texted back, ‘Philadelphia Int'l airport. Vegas here we come!!!’ Their mom was like, ‘No really, where are you?’ And they wrote, ‘The airport.’ Later when asked about why they were there Chaz told her that we had to pick up Catherine’s boyfriend from California- which is amusing since the next weekend Catherine went to San Francisco to visit her friend which so conveniently is where John flew out of. Needless to say, Catherine had a lot of explaining to do later.
So the next time you see Catherine, please ask her how her boyfriend is doing. kthxbai.
Monday, June 7, 2010
Meeting Bronco Mike
There is a reason why Heather and Kuk told me to keep the house standing and in shape while they were away. Oh man. Friday night, I came back from hanging out with some girls (I know, be proud that I hung out with non-engineering girls!) and cleaned my room and packed to go home the next morning. I ended up going to bed at 1:30 and planned to wake up at 8:30 to get home at a reasonable hour in the morning… or at least I had planned to sleep at 1:30. Around 1:45, I hear shouting outside and guys cursing that our front door was locked. Then they started shouting while walking to the back door, “Catherine! Catherine! Are you here!? Are you awake!?! Open the door! We're bleeding!!!” She wasn’t home. I was the only one there. Go figure.
I got out of bed to go downstairs to open the door to tell them she wasn’t home so they needed to go home. I ended up getting as far as my bedroom door and opening it and came face-to-face with a giant, very drunk dude. And by dude I mean two guys, one covered in blood and the giant having drippings of blood on him from the other guy. (And by blood, I mean blood enough that it very obviously ruined his outfit and if he had gone around during the daylight, police would have been called and he would have been considered a zombie-slayer or something that's how much blood he had on him.)
I don’t even know how to describe what happened next. At first I was shocked at just how tall this dude was. And then I realized how drunk they were. And then I realized that no, that was not paint but actual blood all over the shorter dude. And I didn’t have my glasses on so I couldn't see very well and I had no clue who these guys were. The tall dude seemed the least intoxicated and asked me if I was friends with Heather and that they weren’t going to cause any trouble or make noise but just use our shower. Mmhmm. That’s what he claimed. So I lead these two guys into the bathroom and start apologizing for all the dirt in the shower (because I haven’t had time to bleach it) while the giant kept thanking me and asking for my name and for my other housemates. Also, he kept trying to hug me but because he was so large I felt like I was a two year old being smothered by a giant uncle or something and it was not the most comfortable moment in my life. The next thing I know I’m asked to take off the bloody guy’s pants and get him in the shower and he’s standing in his boxers just staring at his cut arm giggling because he didn’t know how he got cut. I didn't even know his name at this point in the night and here I am trying to get out of showering him.
I was able to ask the giant who they were and he said, "I'm Dan and this is my brother Mike." OH!!!! (aka Dan and Bronco Mike). Now I knew exactly who they were so I didn't feel quite so terrified of this situation. So what should a girl do to prevent oneself from getting into a terrible situation with drunk bloody boys about to attempt to shower? Answer: Grab a towel! I leave the bathroom, put my glasses on so I could see, text Catherine and grab a bath towel. By the grace of God, Catherine just happened to have left her party and showed up at home. Bahaha- when she heard the two guys upstairs, she came storming up the stairs, saw the blood, got so mad/panicked (she was drunk too), grabbed Mike's arm and literally pulled him into the shower, turned on the HOT water (and only hot) and held him there. I felt like she was torturing him because of his screamns. Tehe. That was entertaining, not gonna lie. He shrieked like a little girl but because he was so drunk he still was laughing. Dan was still trying to hug me and figure out who I was.
After we cleaned his arm up, the cut wasn’t that big. Honestly I have no idea how there was that much blood for that small of a cut and we have no idea where they got the cut. But it kept bleeding profusely and our puny princess band-aids weren’t working to keep it, so what does Catherine find? A pad. Yes, we decided to use a pad for his arm. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t go all the way around his arm (it wasn’t the super long ones sadly enough) so we needed to tape it to the cut. Poor kid. The only tape we found was yellow electrical tape. So we taped a feminine pad to this very drunk kid’s arm with electrical tape and tried to get him to bed. Getting him to go to bed was probably the most difficult task of the night though because he STILL was giggling and complaining about his arm all while a third guy showed up (this guy I actually did know) who just kept making fun of the pad. “Would you like a tampon too? How’s your flow? Is it your time of the month?” To calm Mike down from reacting about the pad, Catherine scratches his ears like a dog. I wish I had this videotaped because he legit looked like a puppy and there was definitely an imaginary tail a-wagging. Tehe, that part was funny.
So we get Mike in bed and there are two other drunks still wide awake and ready to destroy everything in their path. Catherine tells me to go to bed; however, as I am trying to leave I get cornered by the giant who just keeps saying “Cara you are nice and adorable. I want a hug.” Then I am scooped up by this man. Literally. He scooped me up. I did NOT appreciate that nor was I about to trust anything he was about to do.But what does he do? He puts me down and promptly ‘boops’ my nose. Yes. Boop. Wow.
I try to go to bed but Dan tries to follow me into my room like a puppy dog. Then the third dude (also named Mike), asks Catherine to make him a sandwich. Dan got distracted by the thought of food, I slam my door and lock it. While Catherine went downstairs to make the boys pb&j, all I hear is shouting and pounding from the movie room where the boys are. I don't even want to know what they were trying to do but they attempted to start a movie, Catherine tried to help them but it failed so no movie for them. Dan was bored and tries to visit me again (while I'm in bed trying to sleep) so he kept running into my door and pounding on it wanting me to open it. (I didn't, don't worry friends). I now understand why Marlene so desperately wanted a deadbolt for her bedroom door.
Around 3am, the boys FINALLY fell asleep which meant that I was then able to sleep too. Until about 7:30 when they woke up again. I'm pretty sure Mike (the one with the cut) hadn't sobered up yet. They started giggling about last night and trying to recount what happened. Something about an Asian girl who was hot and all that stuff that guys talk about when girls aren't around. At some moment, they make fun of Mike about the pad on his arm and then go downstairs to play video games and watch Saturday morning cartoons. Catherine says that it was just video games but I'm pretty sure I heard cartoons early in the morning. I quit even trying to go back to sleep but start packing to go home.
Around 8:30, Catherine wakes up and decides to make pancakes. Fun fact for the day: pancakes work best when you have enough eggs for the recipe. We ended up literally scrambling the pancake batter instead of trying to flip them they were too runny. And Dan and Mike ate them like it was their job. Around 10am, Catherine rounds them up and drives them to their cars and I leave for home.
I'm requesting one thing of you oh dearly amused audience and readers of this blog: Please don't tell my family about this because my father will flip out and make me move out of this house and I don't want to do that to Catherine and Heather. It was a very hard task for me to keep it quiet when I went home that day but I managed so you can manage to not tell my family about it also. Kthanks.
And to answer your question: No, we still don't quite know where/how Mike got cut Friday night but it def had to have been a cut from glass.
Don't drink and drive kids. Or just don't drink. Ever. Or you will turn into a puppy-like zombie-killer too. But puppy-like zombie-killers aren't that scary if you are forced to interact with them.
Also- don't drive with drunk guys in your car. They will lick your face.
I got out of bed to go downstairs to open the door to tell them she wasn’t home so they needed to go home. I ended up getting as far as my bedroom door and opening it and came face-to-face with a giant, very drunk dude. And by dude I mean two guys, one covered in blood and the giant having drippings of blood on him from the other guy. (And by blood, I mean blood enough that it very obviously ruined his outfit and if he had gone around during the daylight, police would have been called and he would have been considered a zombie-slayer or something that's how much blood he had on him.)
I don’t even know how to describe what happened next. At first I was shocked at just how tall this dude was. And then I realized how drunk they were. And then I realized that no, that was not paint but actual blood all over the shorter dude. And I didn’t have my glasses on so I couldn't see very well and I had no clue who these guys were. The tall dude seemed the least intoxicated and asked me if I was friends with Heather and that they weren’t going to cause any trouble or make noise but just use our shower. Mmhmm. That’s what he claimed. So I lead these two guys into the bathroom and start apologizing for all the dirt in the shower (because I haven’t had time to bleach it) while the giant kept thanking me and asking for my name and for my other housemates. Also, he kept trying to hug me but because he was so large I felt like I was a two year old being smothered by a giant uncle or something and it was not the most comfortable moment in my life. The next thing I know I’m asked to take off the bloody guy’s pants and get him in the shower and he’s standing in his boxers just staring at his cut arm giggling because he didn’t know how he got cut. I didn't even know his name at this point in the night and here I am trying to get out of showering him.
I was able to ask the giant who they were and he said, "I'm Dan and this is my brother Mike." OH!!!! (aka Dan and Bronco Mike). Now I knew exactly who they were so I didn't feel quite so terrified of this situation. So what should a girl do to prevent oneself from getting into a terrible situation with drunk bloody boys about to attempt to shower? Answer: Grab a towel! I leave the bathroom, put my glasses on so I could see, text Catherine and grab a bath towel. By the grace of God, Catherine just happened to have left her party and showed up at home. Bahaha- when she heard the two guys upstairs, she came storming up the stairs, saw the blood, got so mad/panicked (she was drunk too), grabbed Mike's arm and literally pulled him into the shower, turned on the HOT water (and only hot) and held him there. I felt like she was torturing him because of his screamns. Tehe. That was entertaining, not gonna lie. He shrieked like a little girl but because he was so drunk he still was laughing. Dan was still trying to hug me and figure out who I was.
After we cleaned his arm up, the cut wasn’t that big. Honestly I have no idea how there was that much blood for that small of a cut and we have no idea where they got the cut. But it kept bleeding profusely and our puny princess band-aids weren’t working to keep it, so what does Catherine find? A pad. Yes, we decided to use a pad for his arm. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t go all the way around his arm (it wasn’t the super long ones sadly enough) so we needed to tape it to the cut. Poor kid. The only tape we found was yellow electrical tape. So we taped a feminine pad to this very drunk kid’s arm with electrical tape and tried to get him to bed. Getting him to go to bed was probably the most difficult task of the night though because he STILL was giggling and complaining about his arm all while a third guy showed up (this guy I actually did know) who just kept making fun of the pad. “Would you like a tampon too? How’s your flow? Is it your time of the month?” To calm Mike down from reacting about the pad, Catherine scratches his ears like a dog. I wish I had this videotaped because he legit looked like a puppy and there was definitely an imaginary tail a-wagging. Tehe, that part was funny.
So we get Mike in bed and there are two other drunks still wide awake and ready to destroy everything in their path. Catherine tells me to go to bed; however, as I am trying to leave I get cornered by the giant who just keeps saying “Cara you are nice and adorable. I want a hug.” Then I am scooped up by this man. Literally. He scooped me up. I did NOT appreciate that nor was I about to trust anything he was about to do.But what does he do? He puts me down and promptly ‘boops’ my nose. Yes. Boop. Wow.
I try to go to bed but Dan tries to follow me into my room like a puppy dog. Then the third dude (also named Mike), asks Catherine to make him a sandwich. Dan got distracted by the thought of food, I slam my door and lock it. While Catherine went downstairs to make the boys pb&j, all I hear is shouting and pounding from the movie room where the boys are. I don't even want to know what they were trying to do but they attempted to start a movie, Catherine tried to help them but it failed so no movie for them. Dan was bored and tries to visit me again (while I'm in bed trying to sleep) so he kept running into my door and pounding on it wanting me to open it. (I didn't, don't worry friends). I now understand why Marlene so desperately wanted a deadbolt for her bedroom door.
Around 3am, the boys FINALLY fell asleep which meant that I was then able to sleep too. Until about 7:30 when they woke up again. I'm pretty sure Mike (the one with the cut) hadn't sobered up yet. They started giggling about last night and trying to recount what happened. Something about an Asian girl who was hot and all that stuff that guys talk about when girls aren't around. At some moment, they make fun of Mike about the pad on his arm and then go downstairs to play video games and watch Saturday morning cartoons. Catherine says that it was just video games but I'm pretty sure I heard cartoons early in the morning. I quit even trying to go back to sleep but start packing to go home.
Around 8:30, Catherine wakes up and decides to make pancakes. Fun fact for the day: pancakes work best when you have enough eggs for the recipe. We ended up literally scrambling the pancake batter instead of trying to flip them they were too runny. And Dan and Mike ate them like it was their job. Around 10am, Catherine rounds them up and drives them to their cars and I leave for home.
I'm requesting one thing of you oh dearly amused audience and readers of this blog: Please don't tell my family about this because my father will flip out and make me move out of this house and I don't want to do that to Catherine and Heather. It was a very hard task for me to keep it quiet when I went home that day but I managed so you can manage to not tell my family about it also. Kthanks.
And to answer your question: No, we still don't quite know where/how Mike got cut Friday night but it def had to have been a cut from glass.
Don't drink and drive kids. Or just don't drink. Ever. Or you will turn into a puppy-like zombie-killer too. But puppy-like zombie-killers aren't that scary if you are forced to interact with them.
Also- don't drive with drunk guys in your car. They will lick your face.
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